The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Mark Rooke
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September 8, 2015Before We Break for Lunch, Let Me Repeat Everything Already Said at This Meeting at Least Twice
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July 8, 2015Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
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April 29, 2015I Wash My Face Like Women in Skin Care Commercials
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November 5, 2012Let’s Illustrate This Important Chemistry Concept Through a Word Problem About My Failing Marriage
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January 19, 2012Effective Immediately, the Entire Northwest Sales Team Will Be Sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl
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November 5, 2010An Open Letter to the Homeless Man Who Witnessed Me Totally Lose It Last Week
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July 15, 2010Ralph Waldo Emerson Disputes the Charges on His Cell Phone Bill
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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May 5, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 29, 2025Don’t Worry, We Were Prepared for Our Policies to Be Extremely Unpopular, Because They Are Very, Very Bad
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May 8, 2025Chekhov’s Gun, Applied to Motherhood
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May 8, 2025Letters to Moms: A Letter to Back to the Future’s Lorraine Baines-McFly
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May 8, 2025An Open Letter to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Who Thinks My Daughter is a Tragedy
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May 7, 2025The Bells of Trader Joe’s: A Quick Reference Guide for Front-End Crew Members