McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Andrew Humphries
Andrew Humphries lives in Jackson, Mississippi.
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January 30, 2025Was It Cake?
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January 16, 2025A Pre-Game Pep Talk by a College Football Coach Who Recently Audited a Class on Nietzschean Thought
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October 10, 2024I’m the “Scoopy Daddy”: Clarifying My New Approach to Parenting
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September 14, 2023Our Kitchen Renovation, Which We Started Five and a Half Years Ago, Is Back On Track
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April 6, 2023Now That We Can Hire Children, Here Are Some Revisions to Our HR Policy
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February 21, 2023Yes, Of Course I Know What Escrow Is
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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May 5, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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April 21, 2025Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope
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April 23, 2025I Love You More Than Anything, but I Would Rather Die Than Talk to You on the Phone
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May 7, 2025The Bells of Trader Joe’s: A Quick Reference Guide for Front-End Crew Members
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May 7, 2025I’m the Imaginary Migrant Who Crossed the Darién Gap to Vote in the United States
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May 6, 2025My PR Degree Did Not Prepare Me to Run the Vatican’s Social Media. How Do I Launch the New Pope?
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May 6, 2025Introducing Our University’s New, Totally Reasonable Criteria for Promotion and Tenure